5 Steps to Stop
Be part of the Sexual Integrity 101 Class Launching on April 10th, 6:30pm – SIGN UP HERE
5 Steps to Learn How to Stop Watching Porn:
1. Take a step in the right direction.
Continuing to read through this guide as a first step. Choosing to take action based on something you read in this guide is another.
If you struggle with an addiction to porn, what is your normal first step toward it? It matters. Whatever that first step typically looks like, don’t take it. Go a different direction. Turn off your phone. Close your laptop. Disconnect the TV from the hotel wall. Cancel the subscription. Get rid of the movies. Trash the stash. You get it.
So what’s your first step going to be?
2. Tell God and people.
When we run into something bigger than we can handle on our own, we ask for help, or at least we should. Whether it is moving a piece of furniture or an obstacle in our life, things can be too big for us to handle alone. The same should be true when you are tempted. Call for help from God and trusted friends.
So if porn seems like a problem in your life, and you’re not telling others about it, ask yourself, “Why?” God hasn’t designed us to battle alone. Maybe you feel like you are the only one dealing with this. The statistics we see tell a different story. Whether you are male or female, know you are not alone. This is not rare. We desire Cowee to be a place you can find hope and healing. A place of grace.
3. Be filled with grace.
Whether you’re struggling with an addiction or supporting someone who is, you’re going to need a lot of grace for yourself and others. If you’re struggling with addiction, you’ll need to accept grace from God and others. But don’t forget to extend grace to others as they work through their own pain.
If your spouse struggles with a pornography addiction, consider counseling together, sharing with a couple you respect, and working on your own healing from the pain you’re experiencing. If your spouse has admitted to porn addiction, you have an incredible opportunity to show them the healing power of the gospel of grace. All of this will require grace upon grace upon grace, and there’s always more where that came from.
We partner with Heart for Families to provide financial help together to support our families as they seek counseling together with like minded counselors in our area.
4. Get help to deal with both the surface and deeper issues.
Pornography addiction is just as real as any substance addiction, and it impacts as many or more parts of life. In addition to prayer and confession to friends or pastors, most people will need more help. This addiction is more than just wanting to see images of sex between strangers. However, that is what the brain is addicted to, and very practical help will be needed to change.
This is where Pure Desire’s “Sexual Integrity 101” comes in (SIGN UP HERE). We know that consistent accountability from groups, and hard work will be part of this journey to healing. Remember, other substance abuses are often not rooted in some kind of immense desire for the substance—there are wounds, abuses, neglect, and other ways we are trying to cope through these addictions. To quit porn addiction forever, you, your friends, and your family must address the deeper issues. Sexual Integrity 101 is the place to start.
This is an 8 week course, meeting for 2 hours each evening where we will watch experts in the field dive into sexual brokenness, and what we can do about it. We will then discuss among ourselves what we are learning and examine its impact on our own lives. Who is this for? Of course, it is an on-ramp for those who are themselves struggling, but it is also for those who have a spouse, a loved one or a friend who is caught up in sexual sin. It is for those who want to help, but don’t really know how or where to start. It is for men, women, couples and singles. This class is for those 18 and older. If you are a student seeking help, please connect with Pastor Chris.
5. Make your devices safe.
Pornography may not be an issue in your house yet, but it could be someday. So begin listing all the devices with internet access. These days, this could include anything from phones, TVs, laptops, tablets, and even refrigerators!
If you or a loved one wants to stop watching porn or just want to be more careful, add ad-blockers to your web browsing devices. Look into software like Accountable to You to help block porn websites and provide transparency. Software can help as part of a relationship-centered approach to overcoming this addiction.
We believe parents engage in this area wisely by doing the four following things.
RESTRICT
FILTER
MONITOR
LIMIT
Visit https://www.cowee.church/parenting-and-technology/ for more ideas on how to engage in our role as protector and guardian of the children entrusted to us.
We have been blessed with a scholarship line for students to help provide accountability software for the next generation. Pastor Chris can help with connecting this for our students.
We are grateful for the ministries that we have gleaned from to help shape these next steps from including open.life.church, Pure Desire Ministries, Ever Accountable, and Accountable2You.